How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
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Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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