I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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