i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
