We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
