..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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