omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
