It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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