had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
