we're blogging at a bar
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
