In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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