dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
