I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
