Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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