I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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