Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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