We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i will never coherently bang her
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
