All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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