I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
