im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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