im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
