do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
40s are totally the cure
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
