Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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