i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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