is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
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Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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