Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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