Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
