maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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