So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
