It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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