i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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