I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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