the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
