Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
