Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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