Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
