I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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