I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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