we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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