Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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