I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
