I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
