We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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