The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
