Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
