Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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