So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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