Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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