we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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