By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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