when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
