no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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