im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
