One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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