Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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