and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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