I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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