Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i've created a new STD.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
