How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize