I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize