dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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